Monday, June 16, 2014

The One Thing that I Expect of You as a Fellow Disciple of Christ

I know we all have different feelings and stances on the subject of 
women priesthood ordination and homosexuality. 

I understand that.

I really do.

But can we all agree on one thing as disciples of Christ?

“A New commandment I give unto you, That yet love one another; as
I have loved you, that ye also love one another.” John 13:34

My heart has been heavy reading the articles from different blogs and
comments on the disciplinary councils of two activists. While I’ve
talked about my thoughts on Ordain Women early on, I want to talk
about our reactions. 

There are people whom I love and cherish deeply have gone through
the disciplinary council. They all describe how excruciating it is to
work things out and how miraculously the learning opportunity turns
out to be. I admire them and I’ve walked with them. I cannot think of a
more important responsibility to ensure they feel loved and supported,
by a loving Heavenly Father in the process through mortal beings like

Reading those antipathetic, snide comments on Facebook or hearing
judgmental criticism is more personal than it seems because I’ve
personally experienced and witnessed people using what seemingly
to be a learning opportunity to warrant and legalize unacceptable

Let us all agree on one thing.
“He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.”
John 8:7

The district president ended today’s sacrament meeting with a short
yet powerful message. He talked about how disagreement should be
embraced with the diversity in the district and what we did or didn’t do
to show love. He asked if we didn’t show love by aliening, ostracizing,
judging, and criticizing. Affirming the Savior’s commandment to love
one another, he invited us to love unconditionally regardless of the
circumstances. His remarks on love, openness, and obedience nearly
brought me to tears. 

Can we please agree on that one thing? 

And now here is my vomit of thoughts on women and the priesthood.

I do not associate myself with the Ordain Women movement even I
believe in a lot of the feminist values. If you ask me about
oppression in the Church, I’ll answer no. A “NO” that entails not from
the Church but “Yes” from its members. I understand it. I really do.
Members are imperfect people trying to live the best in a perfect
gospel. I too am imperfect and I don’t seek or expect things to be like
sunshine and roses. Like President Tai, the district president, I love
disagreements because that simulates me to think, to seek
understanding, and to empathize. 

What bugs the heck of me is the absence of respect and blurry
boundary. When my social life, choice of spouse, and academic
pursuit has become a constant topic of discussion in my former ward
in open setting where my mother still goes to, it’s getting
disheartening. Thankfully my mother has grown to develop a crazy,
sarcastic sense of humor brushing off those ridiculous comments
without revealing further information disclosing parts of my life that I
don’t intend to share (and you wonder where I get my personality
from…). It isn’t about what they say but the message they are
sending by saying those kind of things. They do not own me and I’m
not obligated to blindly obey.  When my choices, different then theirs,
are considered as signs of disobedience, it doesn’t feel right at all. 

Don’t get me wrong; I love and respect the people who are older than
me … The very fact that I have lunch with them almost every day at
work, cracking jokes, trying not to choke to death, and have very
serious conversations shows how much I love and admire them.
From time to time, I’ll bug them for advice because I know they’re way
smarter with more experience and I can trust them. 

And here is the thing, they help me to see from their perspectives and
try really hard to understand me. Maybe they know too well that I’m
not the type of girl that can just be told to do stuff (never in my
lifetime.. seriously, I was a very opinionated infant) or maybe they too
don’t like to be told to do stuff (you know I’m talking about you,
rebels.. hahaha). Regardless of the apparent reasons, I can always
feel their love and support in my endeavors. That is the type of
leaders I have been trying to be. 

And here goes another piece of women and the priesthood. Please
don’t ever attempt to comfort me by saying we have womanhood or
motherhood. These ____hood things, manhood, womanhood,
motherhood, fatherhood, priesthood, in a way represents a unique
sets of responsibilities and expectations. I am content that women do
not have the priesthood at this moment and I can live with the
uncertainty not knowing if we will be given that one day. I’m cool with
that but please don’t try pinning womanhood and motherhood on me
to explain things that are yet to be revealed by the Lord. Let Him or
His prophets or apostles do the explaining….. 

I don’t ask you to agree with me. All I hope and long for is the
increasing of understanding and unconditionally love when we

That’s the one thing that I expect of you as a fellow disciple of Christ.



  1. You literally expressed everything that has been in my heart also. Thank you.

  2. Great column. Really glad to meet you from so far away!