Friday, May 30, 2014

One Year Mark!

Danise and I started this blog last year. Time does fly and we both can't believe what had happened to us and the kind of experiences that we had in the past year. We are both starting a new chapter in life in the coming months and all that we can say is - God does watch over us and knows us really well.

In the past year, we both tried to express out thoughts and ideas through this blog and boldly share what we think about the Church and the Mormon culture to others. We receive both positive and negative comments. What touches me is, somehow, somewhere, people who we barely know and have access to our blog would come to us and say "oh, how I love your blog!", "That's exactly what I think!", "I do read your blog and enjoy reading it.". These words and conversations are truly an uplifting encouragement  to Danise and I, and we are truly thankful for these kind words. Sometimes we do get negative comments, that's alright, we all think differently, right? We do appreciate the time you spent on reading what we wrote.

On my part, I felt that I have grown a lot in the past year, in contemplating and understanding my relationship with God, the Church, the members, and myself. It has come clear to me that as members of the Church, we need to stop thinking that we are the "chosen" people and let go of the pride.We need to let go of the structural limitation of the organization and focus more on seeing people as people. We need to, as the Bible said, remove the beam from our own eye when interacting with other members, and lastly, we need to see ourselves as people and love ourselves ten times more than we do now, and treat ourselves better.

At last, I am grateful for my buddy Danise, without her, this blog won't exist. I thank her for the wonderful mind that she has, and the willingness to talk about things that no one would talk to me about regarding some church issues and how we feel about it.

Thank you Danise, and thank you to all who read this blog!

G.K.

Monday, May 12, 2014

Forgiveness— The Strength and Courage in Advocacy

Few nights ago, I was so discouraged and frustrated. My decision of 
moving to a new branch attracted a great deal of attention and a lot of
folks came to my mother inquiring my whereabouts. Some showed
genuine concern about my church attendance however some left
stinging comments speculating my circumstances. These unkind
comments made an already difficult situations more traumatizing. I
was pretty emotional while trying to finish my thesis and for a
whole week my eyes were just puffy. 

One night when I was incorporating the meaning of agency from a
social constructionist view in my thesis, something struck me. Frocult
argued that human being was a “manifestation of discourse”and
Sawicki added that we exercised our agency to choose between
discourses after careful reflection (Burr, 2003). Deep down in my
heart and mind, I understood that because I too had choose a
religious discourse pertaining the justice and equality aspects over
my cultural discourse. 

The next morning I woke up with the clearest epiphany. That is the
reason why the Savior pled, “Forgive them, because they know not
what they do.” (Luke 23:34) It wasn’t the action, the behavior
(crucifying the Savior) that the people didn’t know. Just like everyone
of us, the Jews were so blind-sighted and governed by the discourses
(their culture and traditions) and unfortunately killed the source of
truth who was promised and foreordained to free them. 

I was so overwhelmed by the power and strength of the thought and
the empowerment it brought physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
We can’t force people to see things that they can’t see. All we can to
is continuing in our discourses and be a powerful, positive influences,
a living testimony of our conviction. 

Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness, compromise, nor
indetermination. It is a sign of charity, strength, hope, and conviction
to love even we are ridiculed for the cause that we stand for.
Forgiveness is an attribute of a powerful and effect advocate.
 


“Here Christ closes the loop between his love for us and our
discipleship.  It's true that Christ doesn't promise security, justice or to
keep us from feeling pain in this life. But that's not the peace that
comes with Christ-like love.  The type of love Christ describes is
neither passive nor abstract. It is active. It is a force that causes us to
see others as the Lord sees them and then requires us to treat them
the way the Lord would treat them. It is the type of love that does
more than feels compassion or sympathy. It seeks out injustice and
suffering wherever it maybe and seeks to heal and reconcile. Paul in
his epistle to the Hebrews calls this "provoking unto love" and
teaches us one of the eternal truths about its power. Hate cannot
defeat hate. Only love can do that.” — Chad Ford


Burr, V. (2003). Social constructionism. New York, NY: Routledge Publishing. 



K.D.

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

The Aftermath


Sitting in the sacrament meeting and knowing I no longer have to look 
over my shoulder, my heart was filled with a sense of serenity that
I’ve missed. I thought of Elder Holland’s talk at the Area Office
devotional talking about imperfect people in a perfect church.  I
remembered all the kind and awesome leaders I’ve met and served
with and how much I wanted to grow up to be just like them. 


The past month was a very difficult one. I tried to stay strong and not
let all the criticisms drowned me but every one around me saw the
dark cloud above my head. It was a very dark place, a place where I
could not leave without help. 


It was a miraculous day how my rescue was orchestrated and
executed swiftly. Within two days, I had moved to another branch and
left the dangerous situation. I thank each of you, who have offered
prayers on my behalf, comforted me, be my empathetic ear, rescue
me from the situation or FED ME CHOCOLATE. You have been by
my side each step along the way and I am grateful to have your
support.


Sometimes those feelings and thoughts, the alienation from Heaven
instilled by threats and intimidation, overwhelms me that I will start
crying regardless of where I am and what I am doing. (I totally just
cried my whole way home on the bus tonight and probably scared the
lady sitting next to me). 


When that happens, I’ll cry, and take deep breaths; keep thinking how
my Savior has been through the same situation so that He can
comfort me. I’ll count all the amazing people who has helped me to
find safety. I’ll remember that I am loved and surrounded by friends
and I do not walk alone.

The perpetrator once mocked me saying I had no right to stop him
from caring about me and receiving revelation for me a.k.a doing
horrible thing to me.

He was wrong,
because I did.


Indeed,
we did it.  


K.D.