Saturday, August 17, 2013

Matchmaking V.S agency in dating

            After completing the Hong Kong YSA survey last week, some of the additional comments caught my eye. Here is English translation for this session and 3 answers circled in red.

Q11. Please share some of the creative and interesting activities that you would like to join.
1.    Why don’t we help the brothers or sisters getting to know whoever they have a crush on but not familiar with (from other wards or never attended YSA activities) and offer them opportunities to get to know each other or even arranging dates…..
2.    Matching (matchmaking)
3.    Blind date

C’mon! It’s true that dating here in Hong Kong sucks for whatever reasons and we often have a jaded look on our faces like walking into a multi-million scam as we participate in YSA activities. But giving up on our agency?

President Packer has once stated, “While I am sure some young couples have some special guidance in getting together, I do not believe in predestined love. If you desire the inspiration of the Lord in this crucial decision, you must live the standards of the Church, and you must pray constantly for the wisdom to recognize those qualities upon which a successful union may be based.  You must do the choosing, rather than seek for some one-and-only so-called soul mate, chosen for you by someone else and waiting for you.”

How can we keep choosing in such a perplexing and frustrating situation? Honestly, I asked myself the same question when I was in the speed dating session of the YSA conference. Trying to squeeze a smile and answering some questions off from a check list in tiny room packed with 100+ YSA, I couldn’t help but wonder what’s the point?

My wise mission president has once taught me that any desirable skills, dreams, goals, and plans are based on two words, consistence and persistence. Developing good habits consistently and persist even when life gets hard. The same principle is applicable to social life as well. Perhaps God is teaching us other valuable lessons in trying times and it’s up to us if we decide to throw in the towel.

“[Avoid] the habit of feeling sorry for yourself, and don’t worry excessively about those times when you feel socially unsuccessful. Everybody in the world doesn’t have to fall in love with you and marry you--it only takes one.” --Elder Bruce C. Hafen


1 comment:

  1. I think blind dates leave plenty of room for agency--you don't ever have to go on a date with that person again if you choose not to. However, I agree that speed dating is pointless. My old YSA group did speed dating once and I hated it. There are plenty of things that go on in YSA groups to "help" people date that turn you off of it ...