What Almost Killed You Made You Stronger!!!

Christmas this year was a very emotional holiday. I was surrounded by friends
and family, opening presents and laughing my head off. I tried capturing the
complex thoughts and mixed feelings but words cannot accurately portrait any.
When I started this blog 1.5 years ago, I opened it with my authentic
struggles coming home from the mission. Feelings bewildered, desperately
finding purpose in life, and there I have found the summary of my 2014 experience.

Many of you may remember the unfortunately incident I had earlier this year
with some members and church leaders from my home ward. 

It left me spiritually, emotionally wounded and for a long time I was terrified
that I would never feel the conviction I once had again. I do not glorify this
experience because of the heinous and unnecessary nature of individual’s action. 

This incident forever changes the way I perceive trials and difficult times. God
did not make this happen; not in a million years. He didn’t whisper into the
ears of those individuals telling them to hurt me. 

However, He did let that happen.

He honored individuals agency; till this day, He continues to aid me the love
and support I need for recovery.  I am truly grateful for those who love me,
take me in, and bear with me when I take time to grieve, to be vulnerable.
When I deal with it head on, these brave souls lovingly endure listening to
the cruel details and reassuring me that it’s going to be okay and that I am safe
with them.

I have learned so much about the atonement as I learn about pain. In one of
my favorite talks, the Uses of Adversity, Carlfred Broderick clarified the
purpose of the atonement and reassure necessity to feel all range of
emotions, including pain. “The gospel of Jesus Christ is not insurance against
pain. It is a resource in event of pain, and when that pain comes (and it will
come because we came here on earth to have pain among other things),
when it comes, rejoice that you have a resource to deal with your pain.” 

Suffice to say that I am doing better. I have a great therapist who helps me to
understand the overwhelming feelings I wake up to every day.
I still feel pain, fear, doubts  but I also begin to see hope.

2015 will be an exciting year. In anticipating these amazing opportunities to
come, I am most excited to hope and be courageous again.

“It's not their pain you're afraid of. It's yours, Charles. And as frightening as it
can be, that pain will make you stronger. If you allow yourself to feel it,
embrace it. It will make you more powerful than you ever imagined. It's the
greatest gift we have: to bear their pain without breaking. And it comes from
the most human part of us: hope. Charles, we need you to hope again.”
Professor X, X-men: Days of Future Past

K.D. 

Think Twice Before You Sign the Discriminational Law Review (Because You Are Told To)

Today I am very disappointed on how some members handled the
Discrimination Law Review and publicly lobby members at church
meetings to disagree certain consultation questions in the name of
protecting traditional institution of marriage in Hong Kong. I know the risk
of posting this and it is my intention to explain why you should think twice
before signing it.

I understand the Church’s position on homosexuality and defending
traditional family. I am a Mormon, and I have been struggling to
understand how to balance loving my friends who are homosexual while
aligning my thoughts and actions with my beliefs.

This is the moment for me to speak up. 

In the circulated online message and Relief Society announcement,
members (or nonmembers) are strongly encourage to show concern for
the questions listed in the following website.

Question 6, 9, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73 

http://www.eocdlr.org.hk/en/summary-ap.html?f=s&c=white

When the forms were distributed, a few who were confused with legal
jargons raised their questions indicated not knowing what they were
asked to do. The instructions given were to just check disagree on the
questions indicated above and then submit them since this would be very
urgent. Someone else spoke up and voiced concern of the basic right for
the audience which required fully understanding the content of
Discrimination Law before indicating their comments. That got shot down
pretty quickly.

In another ward, the forms were prepared with those questioned
indicating disagree while member just had to put their personal
information on. The introduction and purpose of the law review were not
given in both wards which caused my concerns.

#1 You and I have our rights as citizens to voice our concerns but not this
way. You can solicit response while you have clearly explain the purpose
of your inquiry and given a chance for participants to freely express their
options. This is basic ethics, honoring and respecting each other’s right. 

#2 This Discrimination Law Review has nothing to do with redefining the
institution of marriage but to discuss if we need to expand the scope to
protect people in other circumstances. The purpose of the review is
clearly listed in the following:

“The DLR is not intended to be a consultation on developing
comprehensive discrimination legislation for new protected characteristics
such as sexual orientation, gender identity, intersex status, or age. The
EOC believes that it would be preferable to conduct separate
consultations on developing discrimination laws in new areas. We note,
however, that where the scope of the existing protected characteristics
raises an issue directly connected to new characteristics, we do broadly
discuss that issue. An example of this is the possibility of protecting people
from discrimination where they are in de facto relationships and whether that
 should apply to same-sex relationships. This links to a
characteristic of sexual orientation. However we also note this is not a
consultation on whether we believe same-sex marriage should be
legalized.”

Honestly, I am very disappointed, dreadfully frustrated because this would
have been a major ethical violation in my profession. This is not how we
conduct scientific research studies. If someone handed me a pre-filled
form, I would have not hesitated and express the humiliation and
objectification behind that. This is not how we participate in civil
responsibilities. 

On another note, there is no contradiction between supporting traditional
marriage, accordingly to the family proclamation and reconsidering
protection for people in de facto relationship, regardless heterosexual or
homosexual. We don’t pick and choose who we love and protect even if
we don’t agree with their lifestyle. We follow Christ's example to love all. 

Pardon my conscience screaming it isn’t right.

K.D. 

Democracy and Obedience: How gospel values should be employed in politics

1.. There is no evil in asking for something before knowing completely what it is. There are scores of examples of people who sought after the gospel, not knowing what exactly it was yet the peripheral "beginneth to be delicious to [them]". We are not morally obligated to make a decision after fully understanding the details.

2. Even though we believe that God is at helm and He is watching over us, he DID NOT take away our ability to act for ourselves nor WILL HE do so. We have been constantly reminded that as Latter-day Saints we are to act and not to be act upon, and this is an eternal truth. Understanding that "everything is going to be alright at the end" (which is absolutely true) DOES NOT mean we are not required to actively bring to pass this happy ending. 

3. In fact, the Lord has asked His servants to "counsel between themselves and me" - suggesting that while there are absolute truths within the gospel, the application of these truths can vary. Reasoning is not just a gift given to us by our loving Father, but also a duty and responsibility - and most of all a commandment - that is crucial to the growth of all Latter-day Saints. The Lord gave a strong warning concerning this - after He addressed the Saints about politics, "...Otherwise whatsoever is less than these cometh of evil."

4. After giving such commandment to his presiding servants the Lord declared, 

"For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward.

Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness."

Keywords - "not meet that I should command in all things", "anxiously engaged", "good cause", "own free will". We are asked to act. Sitting in my home waiting for a blessing will do no good. It was ever thus.

5. The fall of the Nephites had nothing to do with democracy. It is appalling to read such statement. The idea of a democratic government is to establish a system which the majority rules, especially “a government in which the supreme power is vested in the people”. While in the church we believe in the power of God and we are his subjects, we are not under the same obligation to our government as to our theocratic church. While the idea of letting the people to choose as their will desires is dangerous and could result into bad choices (which had happened in the scriptural history, e.g., Exodus where the congregation almost unanimously agreed to elect a new leader and return to Egypt), the very principle of letting the people to choose is inseparable to the heavenly law of moral agency. Taking away the right to choose and what you have are but pawns and not humans.

6. That being said until this day God has not re-organized His political Kingdom. Before then He allows us to choose our own government systems with guidelines provided through scriptures and latter-day prophets. Arguments can be made concerning the political governments among the Saints but the ultimate decisions should be made by the people. Employing scriptures to endorse a particular government system is not only dangerous but also misguiding. Opinions can still differ even though we believe in the same gospel.

7. God has given His children laws concerning fighting back and responding to threats. Some of these laws are eternal and some are of a temporary nature. There is a danger when one employ a scriptural story to support or disapprove a current event. For example, the fact the people of Alma refused to defend for themselves when the Lamanites attacked does not condemn those who decided to fight for their right. The fact that Limhi and his people did fight for themselves does not justify the notion to answer with swords. Until a clear instruction is given unto us through the proper priesthood channel one is entitled to believe as he pleases - as long as his conscience approves.

8. "The works, and the designs, and the purposes of God cannot be frustrated, neither can they come to naught. Remember, remember that it is not the work of God that is frustrated, but the work of men." 

9. Remember, not that everything happening in this life is the will of God. In some instances He merely "suffer" them to happen. The outcome of an event does not justify the nature or clarify the will of God concerning the event. It is dangerous, even heretical to suggest that the result defines the nature. While we are told to judge the tree by its fruits, it is a false doctrine that in this life all good causes will prevail. 

10. It is dangerous to use church terms in daily life without discretion. For example, according to True To The Faith, 

"Prophets speak of having a “firm hope” (Alma 34:41) and a “lively hope” (1 Peter 1:3). The prophet Moroni taught, “Whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God” (Ether 12:4).

When we have hope, we trust God's promises. We have a quiet assurance that if we do “the works of righteousness,” we “shall receive [our] reward, even peace in this world, and eternal life in the world to come” (D&C 59:23). Mormon taught that such hope comes only through the Atonement of Jesus Christ: “What is it that ye shall hope for? Behold I say unto you that ye shall have hope through the atonement of Christ and the power of his resurrection, to be raised unto life eternal, and this because of your faith in him according to the promise” (Moroni 7:41)."

Such hope should not be confused with the hope that we frequently mention in daily life. The hope that we mention in daily life is centered in the daily exercise that we do and the experience that we have accumulated - not necessarily in the Lord. To suggest that because we have faith in Christ we are to hope "in all things" literally is misleading and shows a lack of understanding of the principle of hope.

What do these mean?

One is obligated to do all that he can in order to achieve the will of God. We are to exercise our own free will and bring to pass the good things we are asked to do. The Lord has given us the right to do the things that we believed to be true and it is a duty for us to act according to our conscience. We might act differently and sometimes disagree with each other, yet this does not mean that one has erred. As President Faust suggested, "We do not lose our identity in becoming members of this church".While “truth is singular [and] its ‘versions’ are mistruths”, opinions can be justified with reasons.

Ryan Ka Shu Mok

Occupying Central Part 2: What You Need To Know Before Sharing Your Political View with Scriptural References

While we were discussing the current issue in Hong Kong, we read some posts on Facebook that members using scriptures/GC talks etc, any church-related materials to defend their views. We found it quite an interesting phenomena and we would like to do an experiment in showing how using scriptures/GC talks/Leaders’ words to defend a seemingly “truth” is not appropriate.

As Danise mentioned on her Facebook status, “research has suggested a theory of confirmation bias in which you follow your preference to search for information that confirms your view.” The sources we choose to support our personal view is not wrong in context itself. However, bias are inevitable when our minds are flooded by our personal views and cultural perceptions. Once we found those words/quotes that confirm our thought, they become the “truth” to ourselves. We should pay attention while using scriptures/GC talks/Leaders’ words in confirming our political views. The dangerous side is that we may use the “truth” we found in scriptures/GC talks/Leaders’ words to confirm our political “truth”. Scriptures/GC talks/Leaders’ words are supposed to use for teaching Gospel Principle – the eternal truth.

G.K.

This occupying central movement has been a wake up call for many. 

High school students armed with plastic wraps, raincoats, 

goggles, and umbrellas grasping at straws for democracy. 

I see hope, a hope that is reignited as citizens from all walks of life 

coming together defending the same cause. 

I see an undeniable failure when the brain washing 

"moral and national education” curriculum,
the culturally ingrained sense of conformity, 

and blind obedience fail miserably. 

Charles Dickens brilliantly depicted the paradoxical feelings at the
beginning of A Tale of Two Cities.

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, 

it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, 

it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, 

it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, 

it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, 

we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, 

we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way – 

In short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its
noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil,
in the superlative degree of comparison only.”

While being stuck in the Mormonland learning to be a social advocate,  

I do my very best to take my stand and actively participate.

Hours of monitoring the news, explaining the situation to people I know,

I feel absolutely exhausted with a robust schedule juggling 

school, work, and reading up on Hong Kong. 

What scares me the most isn’t the banner warning policing firing their weapon.

It was church members quoting scriptures,

supporting their political view.

“Facebook etiquette” is circulated among members which 

includes no disagreeing comments on other’s pages.

Granted their intention is great, preventing online disagreement 

turning into bible bashing, which backfire our public image.

Ironically, this is the very reason why high school students

are making a statement to the world.

Why do we seek pseudo-harmony (the absence of conflict)

and trade in our voices? 

This is the problem I see when the collectiveness of the Chinese

culture mixing and singling out 1 gospel principle.

Normally, it’s perfect for regular worship setting. 

When we are given a topic, for example on the Holy Ghost,

I focus on my search on related doctrine and quotes which is 

perfectly fine because they are all truths, gospel truths.

However, it goes downward spiral if the same method is employed

in a political debate. It’s okay to have different views and I hope

we have different views. The fact that different voices are appreciated

is exactly why we fight for democracy. What creeps me out is people

misquote scriptures and talks to strong arming people to ally with.

It stifles communication, healthy critical thinking, and distort the political

neutrality nature of the Church. Remember, the gospel is a holistic whole
a transformation, a conversion that not only changes a single behavior
or thoughts but our whole way of being. 

Please don't cherry pick principles of the gospel. 

K.D.

Occupying Central Part 1: What Does The Scripture Say About It?

To support the movement:

I don’t know how you feel, my brethren and sisters, but I’d rather be dead than to lose my liberty. I have no fear we’ll ever lose it because of invasion from the outside. But I do have fear that it may slip away from us because of our own indifference, our own negligence, as citizens of this land. And so I plead with you this morning that you take an active interest in matters pertaining to the future of this country.

Ezra Taft Benson – BYU Devotional – 1952 December

Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment.

1 Corinthians 1:10

And they entered into a covenant to fight for the liberty of the Nephites, yea, to protect the land unto the laying down of their lives; yea, even they covenanted that they never would give up their liberty, but they would fight in all cases to protect the Nephites and themselves from bondage.

Alma 53:17

The whole chapter of Alma 60, especially:

Behold, I am Moroni, your chief captain. I seek not for power, but to pull it down. I seek not for honor of the world, but for the glory of my God, and the freedom and welfare of my country. And thus I close mine epistle.

Alma 60:36

To support 689 (The Government) 

Article of Faith 12

We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law.

Doctrine and Covenants 134:5

We believe that all men are bound to sustain and uphold the respective governments in which they reside, while protected in their inherent and inalienable rights by the laws of such governments; and that sedition and rebellion are unbecoming every citizen thus protected, and should be punished accordingly; and that all governments have a right to enact such laws as in their own judgments are best calculated to secure the public interest; at the same time, however, holding sacred the freedom of conscience.

Doctrine and covenants 58: 21-22

Let no man think he is ruler; but let God rule him that judgeth, according to the counsel of his own will, or, in other words, him that counseleth or sitteth upon the judgment seat.

Let no man break the laws of the land, for he that keepeth the laws of God hath no need to break the laws of the land.

Alma 4:16

And he selected a wise man who was among the elders of the church, and gave him power according to the voice of the people, that he might have power to enact laws according to the laws which had been given, and to put them in force according to the wickedness and the crimes of the people.

3 Nephi 11:29

For verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another. 

Doctrine and Covenants 10:63

And this I do that I may establish my gospel, that there may not be so much contention; yea, Satan doth stir up the hearts of the people to contention concerning the points of my doctrine; and in these things they do err, for they do wrest the scriptures and do not understand them.

Alma 37:31

Yea, and cursed be the land forever and ever unto those workers of darkness and secret combinations, even unto destruction, except they repent before they are fully ripe. 

Fully confused?? Now proceed to part two and you will know why. 

G.K. & K.D.

A God of Equal Rights; A God of Love

This week I was at the Provo Temple with a friend attended a sealing 

session. The session happened to be officiated by a hilarious and
talkative sealer who took the time to pause and taught us the promise
blessings of the sealing ordinances and personal applications. 

He paused and indicated something
I’ve never noticed from the blessing of children being sealed to
parents. Due to the sacred nature of the ordinance, the best I can do
is summing up how the prayer specifically indicated identical
blessings for those who are sealed to their parents later on in life are
the same comparing to  those those who are born into the covenant. 

“He’s a loving Heavenly Father; a God of equal rights and a God of
love.” Said the wise sealer.

I WAS IN AWE...…

Coming from an interfaith family, I used to feel like the black sheep.
My circumstance has made a huge difference in my life than my
peers such as not being able to get baptized at the age of 8, my
father’s objection to attend BYU or serve a mission, the need of other
priesthood bearers offering priesthood blessings, etc…. It’s really
hard on me as a kid. 

Two weeks ago, I got to share a related experience attending Church
in Heber City, Utah as the teacher struggled with the same sense of
inadequacy. I struggled through my first transfer on my
mission realizing I had a hard time bearing witness and teaching
eternal family because I wasn’t in one. I felt really ashamed standing
in the shadow of the Salt Lake Temple and just had the most
inadequate feeling. I prayed frequently and studied fervently hoping I
could gain a testimony of eternal marriage before having my own.

It wasn’t necessary what I studied but the connections and
associations I was making that eventually connected the dots.
Gradually, I realized it didn’t matter what stages we were at in the
plan of salvation; what matter was that we were progressing, even
one step towards Christ. That I could bear witness of because I knew
and have felt the unconditionally love of God and the power of the
atonement. 

Instead of sharing my own family stories, I began to talk about my
aspiration and hope of one day obtaining the blessings of having an
eternal family of my own. 

That’s why I still feel strongly about this topic and often speak up in
any Church settings. It isn’t because I am radical or against temple
marriage but my “allergic reaction” towards judgmental and shaming
attitude towards our fellow children of God who perhaps progress at a
different pace or choose differently. 

I am grateful for my mother’s sacrifices and faithfulness even when
other members trying to take over her job being my mother just
because they’ve been married in the temple. Although we are not
sealed as a family, I know Heavenly Father loves us and knows our
circumstances perfectly to sort this out one day. Before that, I am
banking on my faith in Him trusting things will work out as He has my
best interest. That’s what faith is all about, right?

K.D. 

Is Suicide A Choice?

Reading about the death of Robin Williams was difficult. Patch 

Adams, Good Will Hunting are movies that inspire me to practice
counseling. He was an outstanding actor and his performance has
touched the hearts of many. 

But today I read a Christian blogger’s post with a title like this.
“Robin Williams didn’t die from a disease; it was his choice.”

I was furious beyond measure, not just for the heartless discussion on
depression and suicide but also the insensitive comment shaming and
blaming those tho struggle with mental illness. 

So here I am.

I want to talk about the unspeakable.

As Mormons we often speak if the idea of agency. It is true that
God has given us this precious gift, coupled with the atonement for
our learning and progression. Volunteering with minorities for the past
year has led me to a new understanding of agency, a difficult one. 

What if we don’t know or can’t see all the options that are available?

I’ll give you a real example.

Few months back, I was dealing with a troubling situation. At first, I
thought I was doing okay to handle it by myself but I was in trouble.
Whenever I was in the environment with the the people who hurt me
and caused the whole incident, I began to be very anxious. I had
nightmares. I had flashbacks. I would sweat like if I were in the gym
and shivered. (classic PTSD)

I was absolutely scared and felt hopeless. It was a very dark place
and I couldn’t get out.

Thanks to the support of great friends, I recognized those red flags
myself and I sought help. Some in the position to help moved me out
of the situation immediately. Some offered a safe space to talk and
cry. Some comforted me with kind words of hope. Some fed me
chocolate and ice-cream.

Had I always seen a way out?

NO! 

I would have never survive this rough time without the help of all
those who stood with me and bore my burden.

Now let’s talk about suicide.

Do people have a choice clearing knowing they are choosing to end
their life?

I don’t know and neither do you.

That’s why I am very thankful for a merciful God who judges us and a
Savior who stands as an advocate with the Father. (D&C 45:3)

What goes on in the mind of someone who struggles with mental
health is complex. 

While we don’t encourage people to choose suicide as a way out,
let’s do something that you and I can do.

Let’s take out the stereotypes, the stigma, the judgement, the
insensitivity that are preventing them to see.

Let’s be supportive and encouraging for those who fear to seek help.

Is suicide a choice?

I don’t know.

All I know is that suicide is a tragedy.

To the men who inspired me to be an empathetic counselor.

K.D.

Every Star is Different

Let it be known that I love Vic 1 primary :)

I would have never imagined growing to love these little people so
much just by watching them singing their hearts out each Sunday. It
has been a very special experience for me transitioning from wards
and moving on from difficult experiences.

Sitting behind the piano, with shaky hands, I nervously watched
the cutest humans blurting out familiar lyrics—

“Ev'ry star is diff'rent,

And so is ev'ry child.

Some are bright and happy,

And some are meek and mild.

Ev'ry one is needed

For just what he can do.

You're the only person

Who ever can be you.

I smiled.
Tears began to blur my vision.

How true is that everyone of us are meant to be different. I carefully
observed their little bodies and how hard they tried expressing
themselves via music. One little girl, with bright hazel eyes and two
high pigtails (just like Boo in Monsters Inc.), staring at the music
leader with the most paranoid, doubtful look. A little boy, with the
cutest apple cheeks, calmly and softy singing with a big sweet smile.
Another energetic little boy, who has the amazing ability to charge
from 0 to 100 % energy in seconds, zealously hammering out each
word. 

They make me laugh and I love them all. 

These wise little people remind me of a tough battle I am fighting. It is
not easy to choose what God has planned for me over cultural and
social norms. Many kind and gracious people reach out and have
helped me along the way and some chose to cast stone, calling out
judgement in the name of love. It is not easy to feel personhood in a
collective culture. 

It really hurts. 

Because you can’t go show everyone your patriarchal blessings
convincing them that you are just trying your best to live up to the
Father’s expectations. Sometimes the best show-and-tell is when you
just remain firm and steady, reaching your goal, and be truly content
with your achievements.

It’s a nerve-racking experience packing up and getting ready to move
across the world. However, I’ll remember these cute primary kids
confidently showing their uniqueness and remind myself that
Heavenly Father loves me very much.

So much that He has pointed me to the road less travelled by. 

K.D.

We Believe in... DOING GOOD

July 1st, 2014, I walked down the footbridge in Causeway Bay with
Grace and we were waiting for the protest to begin. As I saw the van
leading a massive crowd slowing moving forward, a surge of familiar
emotions quickly replaced my excitement and my eyes became
watery. 

I would have never prepared for the moment. But that day, I felt
fearful as I tried to envision the future of Hong Kong.

I was born and raised in Hong Kong. 

I was 2 when I went to the first public demonstration for June 4th. 

In the Church, we often talk about salvation/eternal family/eternal life.
When it comes to doing good, the direction of discussion often leads
back to a spiritual level where we just baptize them all (as doing them
a favor). In a recent YSA activity, I felt the familiar sense of
hollowness and got me thinking about the purposes of life.

I played nice, joked, and chatted but it still felt like swallowing a ton of
filibusters or MSG.That really yucky sense of hollowness was
grossing me out. As much as I like having fun and looking for an
adventure, it just doesn’t cut it. 

Why feeling empty? Am I just missing someone who can talk about
anything and everything with me? 

Ha.. maybe .. but I wholeheartedly believe that there is more to life
than gratification. YSA stuff is fun and cool but can we for once at
least do something for someone else? I want to serve because that
what Jesus will do. I want to talk and learn about politics because I, in
reality, live in a society frankly filled with lousy politicians. I want to
talk about medicine because health is important beyond the don’ts in
the Word of Wisdom. I want to talk about gender equality because
some women still see the priesthood as a burden and were so glad not
to have it. 

Warning: more venting are ahead. 

Today my Facebook newsfeed was filled with people sharing this
article. Quick summary for my non-Chinese speaking peeps: A high
school boy received an outstanding award and revealed his living
conditions in his speech. He was abandoned by his parents and was
raised by his grandparents. After his grandpa passed away, his
grandma’s hoarding habits was uncontrollable. In his own word, he
described “ I have to shower 3 times and run out of the door. The
fridge has been broken for awhile and I have to eat overnight leftover
food even it’s spoiled. Sometimes a ton of ants will crew out from the
food, and there are flies around but I have to eat it. It really looks like
poop but I get used to throwing up and stomach pain.” He was
depressed and attempted suicide but was thankfully stopped by
friends. 

Here comes my point—> Why would anything feel touched and think
that was love??????????????????????

My first reaction was blunt: where the heck are teachers and social
workers? That is by the book child abuse!!!!!! Grandma was clearly
mentally unstable and physically, emotionally endangering the boy.
How can any one legitimately call it love and obedience?  By are we
reacting to this type of unnecessary sacrifice and consider it as
patience?

Then I remember my sense of hollowness. This is the last days. This
is the world that’s filled with twisted values and confusion as
mentioned in the scriptures. Sometimes I even feel that we get too
caught up in working towards our own salvation and eternal family
and forget that it’s part of our covenant to serve others. I hope this is
a time for us to reflect on how we can do to help more, to reach out to
those who are in need, even if they don’t appear to be or esteem as
unworthy to receive help. 

The July 1st protest is not a one time deal but only a beginning. The
moment we critically think, to let go of essence of (Mormon/Chinese/
whatever) culture that is not in harmony with Christ’s teaching, we
reignite hope, a hope that will carry us through rough time till the
second coming of Christ. 

 There is work to do :) 

K.D.

The One Thing that I Expect of You as a Fellow Disciple of Christ

I know we all have different feelings and stances on the subject of 

women priesthood ordination and homosexuality. 

I understand that.

I really do.

But can we all agree on one thing as disciples of Christ?

“A New commandment I give unto you, That yet love one another; as
I have loved you, that ye also love one another.” John 13:34

My heart has been heavy reading the articles from different blogs and
comments on the disciplinary councils of two activists. While I’ve
talked about my thoughts on Ordain Women early on, I want to talk
about our reactions. 

There are people whom I love and cherish deeply have gone through
the disciplinary council. They all describe how excruciating it is to
work things out and how miraculously the learning opportunity turns
out to be. I admire them and I’ve walked with them. I cannot think of a
more important responsibility to ensure they feel loved and supported,
by a loving Heavenly Father in the process through mortal beings like
us. 

Reading those antipathetic, snide comments on Facebook or hearing
judgmental criticism is more personal than it seems because I’ve
personally experienced and witnessed people using what seemingly
to be a learning opportunity to warrant and legalize unacceptable
behavior. 

Let us all agree on one thing.
“He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.”
John 8:7

The district president ended today’s sacrament meeting with a short
yet powerful message. He talked about how disagreement should be
embraced with the diversity in the district and what we did or didn’t do
to show love. He asked if we didn’t show love by aliening, ostracizing,
judging, and criticizing. Affirming the Savior’s commandment to love
one another, he invited us to love unconditionally regardless of the
circumstances. His remarks on love, openness, and obedience nearly
brought me to tears. 

Can we please agree on that one thing? 

And now here is my vomit of thoughts on women and the priesthood.

I do not associate myself with the Ordain Women movement even I
believe in a lot of the feminist values. If you ask me about
oppression in the Church, I’ll answer no. A “NO” that entails not from
the Church but “Yes” from its members. I understand it. I really do.
Members are imperfect people trying to live the best in a perfect
gospel. I too am imperfect and I don’t seek or expect things to be like
sunshine and roses. Like President Tai, the district president, I love
disagreements because that simulates me to think, to seek
understanding, and to empathize. 

What bugs the heck of me is the absence of respect and blurry
boundary. When my social life, choice of spouse, and academic
pursuit has become a constant topic of discussion in my former ward
in open setting where my mother still goes to, it’s getting
disheartening. Thankfully my mother has grown to develop a crazy,
sarcastic sense of humor brushing off those ridiculous comments
without revealing further information disclosing parts of my life that I
don’t intend to share (and you wonder where I get my personality
from…). It isn’t about what they say but the message they are
sending by saying those kind of things. They do not own me and I’m
not obligated to blindly obey.  When my choices, different then theirs,
are considered as signs of disobedience, it doesn’t feel right at all. 

Don’t get me wrong; I love and respect the people who are older than
me … The very fact that I have lunch with them almost every day at
work, cracking jokes, trying not to choke to death, and have very
serious conversations shows how much I love and admire them.
From time to time, I’ll bug them for advice because I know they’re way
smarter with more experience and I can trust them. 

And here is the thing, they help me to see from their perspectives and
try really hard to understand me. Maybe they know too well that I’m
not the type of girl that can just be told to do stuff (never in my
lifetime.. seriously, I was a very opinionated infant) or maybe they too
don’t like to be told to do stuff (you know I’m talking about you,
rebels.. hahaha). Regardless of the apparent reasons, I can always
feel their love and support in my endeavors. That is the type of
leaders I have been trying to be. 

And here goes another piece of women and the priesthood. Please
don’t ever attempt to comfort me by saying we have womanhood or
motherhood. These ____hood things, manhood, womanhood,
motherhood, fatherhood, priesthood, in a way represents a unique
sets of responsibilities and expectations. I am content that women do
not have the priesthood at this moment and I can live with the
uncertainty not knowing if we will be given that one day. I’m cool with
that but please don’t try pinning womanhood and motherhood on me
to explain things that are yet to be revealed by the Lord. Let Him or
His prophets or apostles do the explaining….. 

I don’t ask you to agree with me. All I hope and long for is the
increasing of understanding and unconditionally love when we
disagree. 

That’s the one thing that I expect of you as a fellow disciple of Christ.

K.D. 

Looking Back and Envisioning Ahead

June 2014 marks a year of the “Chinese Mormon Girl” project.
It was year of joy, mourning, and spiritual & intellectual rebirth.

A year ago, I was very lost in my direction. Thinking differently, being
a liberal devoted Mormon while embracing postmodernism +
feminism created a whole new identity crisis. Academically, I was
struggling for a breakthrough, stretching, and exploring creatively in a
culture that embraced conformity.

Little did I know, I had to endeavor some spiritual hardship to grow,
and comprehend Heavenly Father’s plan. 

It all began with two non-conformers wanting to be the change. It all
started in the summer of 2012 when Grace interviewed me for her
thesis. I had already changed and headed out to the gym but
somehow I felt strongly about returning for the interview. For a few
hours, we chatted about the Chinese Mormon culture and it blew my
mind wild opened knowing I wasn’t the only one (thinking and feeling
that way). 

Then came Spring+ Summer of 2013 with a bunch of crazy friends
hiking and going on adventures while getting into in depth discussions
on Church doctrine and culture. In my heart, I felt that stirring which
eventually fueled me sharing my thoughts and struggles. I wished and
dreamed that all outliers in the Church could feel the pure love of God
through members, leaders regardless of their circumstances. 

It’s a very emotional moment looking back and measuring our growth
in the past year. The blog has been presented at a national
conference at UC Berkeley.  Grace graduated with her master’s and
so did I. We have remained strong and faithful in spiritual turmoils and
holding on to our beliefs. 

When my advisor notified me that I would be award with distinction for
my master’s, a lot of memories flashed back in my mind. I saw the
faces of people whom predicted my failure because of my
weaknesses. I vividly saw a friend whom reminded me who I was and
inspired me to be my best self. I felt the warmth of your constant
support and comments for us and the blog. We made it.  

In Doctrine and Covenant 88:42-44, we are taught that there is no
wrong timing in God’s plan. Things and people fall into the right place
according to His plan and I am a witness of that remarkable concept
of time. 

In two months, I will begin the next chapter of my life and starting my
doctoral degree in Counseling Psychology at BYU (and hopefully
doing tons of cultural and gender studies). I am truly grateful for the
mindfulness of the Lord and the wondrous opportunities helping and
shaping me to be me. All I wish and dream for is living up to His
expectations and the vision Heavenly Father had when He created me.
That will be the real me.

Just me. 

K.D.

One Year Mark!

Danise and I started this blog last year. Time does fly and we both can't believe what had happened to us and the kind of experiences that we had in the past year. We are both starting a new chapter in life in the coming months and all that we can say is - God does watch over us and knows us really well.

In the past year, we both tried to express out thoughts and ideas through this blog and boldly share what we think about the Church and the Mormon culture to others. We receive both positive and negative comments. What touches me is, somehow, somewhere, people who we barely know and have access to our blog would come to us and say "oh, how I love your blog!", "That's exactly what I think!", "I do read your blog and enjoy reading it.". These words and conversations are truly an uplifting encouragement  to Danise and I, and we are truly thankful for these kind words. Sometimes we do get negative comments, that's alright, we all think differently, right? We do appreciate the time you spent on reading what we wrote.

On my part, I felt that I have grown a lot in the past year, in contemplating and understanding my relationship with God, the Church, the members, and myself. It has come clear to me that as members of the Church, we need to stop thinking that we are the "chosen" people and let go of the pride.We need to let go of the structural limitation of the organization and focus more on seeing people as people. We need to, as the Bible said, remove the beam from our own eye when interacting with other members, and lastly, we need to see ourselves as people and love ourselves ten times more than we do now, and treat ourselves better.

At last, I am grateful for my buddy Danise, without her, this blog won't exist. I thank her for the wonderful mind that she has, and the willingness to talk about things that no one would talk to me about regarding some church issues and how we feel about it.

Thank you Danise, and thank you to all who read this blog!

G.K.

Forgiveness— The Strength and Courage in Advocacy

Few nights ago, I was so discouraged and frustrated. My decision of 

moving to a new branch attracted a great deal of attention and a lot of
folks came to my mother inquiring my whereabouts. Some showed
genuine concern about my church attendance however some left
stinging comments speculating my circumstances. These unkind
comments made an already difficult situations more traumatizing. I
was pretty emotional while trying to finish my thesis and for a
whole week my eyes were just puffy. 

One night when I was incorporating the meaning of agency from a
social constructionist view in my thesis, something struck me. Frocult
argued that human being was a “manifestation of discourse”and
Sawicki added that we exercised our agency to choose between
discourses after careful reflection (Burr, 2003). Deep down in my
heart and mind, I understood that because I too had choose a
religious discourse pertaining the justice and equality aspects over
my cultural discourse. 

The next morning I woke up with the clearest epiphany. That is the
reason why the Savior pled, “Forgive them, because they know not
what they do.” (Luke 23:34) It wasn’t the action, the behavior
(crucifying the Savior) that the people didn’t know. Just like everyone
of us, the Jews were so blind-sighted and governed by the discourses
(their culture and traditions) and unfortunately killed the source of
truth who was promised and foreordained to free them. 

I was so overwhelmed by the power and strength of the thought and
the empowerment it brought physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
We can’t force people to see things that they can’t see. All we can to
is continuing in our discourses and be a powerful, positive influences,
a living testimony of our conviction. 

Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness, compromise, nor
indetermination. It is a sign of charity, strength, hope, and conviction
to love even we are ridiculed for the cause that we stand for.
Forgiveness is an attribute of a powerful and effect advocate.
 

“Here Christ closes the loop between his love for us and our
discipleship.  It's true that Christ doesn't promise security, justice or to
keep us from feeling pain in this life. But that's not the peace that
comes with Christ-like love.  The type of love Christ describes is
neither passive nor abstract. It is active. It is a force that causes us to
see others as the Lord sees them and then requires us to treat them
the way the Lord would treat them. It is the type of love that does
more than feels compassion or sympathy. It seeks out injustice and
suffering wherever it maybe and seeks to heal and reconcile. Paul in
his epistle to the Hebrews calls this "provoking unto love" and
teaches us one of the eternal truths about its power. Hate cannot
defeat hate. Only love can do that.” — Chad Ford

Burr, V. (2003). Social constructionism. New York, NY: Routledge Publishing. 

K.D.

The Aftermath

Sitting in the sacrament meeting and knowing I no longer have to look 

over my shoulder, my heart was filled with a sense of serenity that
I’ve missed. I thought of Elder Holland’s talk at the Area Office
devotional talking about imperfect people in a perfect church.  I
remembered all the kind and awesome leaders I’ve met and served
with and how much I wanted to grow up to be just like them. 

The past month was a very difficult one. I tried to stay strong and not
let all the criticisms drowned me but every one around me saw the
dark cloud above my head. It was a very dark place, a place where I
could not leave without help. 

It was a miraculous day how my rescue was orchestrated and
executed swiftly. Within two days, I had moved to another branch and
left the dangerous situation. I thank each of you, who have offered
prayers on my behalf, comforted me, be my empathetic ear, rescue
me from the situation or FED ME CHOCOLATE. You have been by
my side each step along the way and I am grateful to have your
support.

Sometimes those feelings and thoughts, the alienation from Heaven
instilled by threats and intimidation, overwhelms me that I will start
crying regardless of where I am and what I am doing. (I totally just
cried my whole way home on the bus tonight and probably scared the
lady sitting next to me). 

When that happens, I’ll cry, and take deep breaths; keep thinking how
my Savior has been through the same situation so that He can
comfort me. I’ll count all the amazing people who has helped me to
find safety. I’ll remember that I am loved and surrounded by friends
and I do not walk alone.

The perpetrator once mocked me saying I had no right to stop him
from caring about me and receiving revelation for me a.k.a doing
horrible thing to me.

He was wrong,
because I did.

Indeed,
we did it.  

K.D.

There is Room Enough

The past three weeks, different events kept leading me back to the

same question. “ Is there room for me in the Church? I just don’t fit
in.”

I stood with the Filipino sisters in an elevator when a local Chinese
member staring at them with a duck face. I faced ridicule when I
disagreed with bigotry and refuse to follow.I put my arms around a
troubled soul and love regardless of choices and values.I heard story
after story of faithful, strong, and caring Filipino sisters facing
challenges in their lives, gasping for air in a stormy sea.

I pled and implored my whole soul wanting to feel the reassurance
that God was aware of my situations, my feelings towards all the
injustice. He might not decide to fix everything, but I needed to know
that He knew, and that He had heard my cry.

I will not leave the Church but how do I stay?

With the lens of a researcher, I was seeking for the unconventional/
unorthodox views in General Conference and here is the list of part of
my findings:

1.  The number of blessing doesn’t positively correlated to the level
     of gratitude.

2.  Being grateful does not simply mean being cheerful in distress.

3.  We shouldn’t wait for positive outcome in order to be grateful.

4.  God’s awareness of us isn’t equal to the response time of
     answers to prayers but he knows us and hears the pleading of our
     hearts.

5.  What seemingly is considered a burden, weights, provides the way
     to safe/lift us.

6.  Happiness isn’t the absences of trials/burden.

My heart rejoiced with this renewing sense of the gospel. Years of
listening to “thank-i-mony”, and very narrow-minded sense of
understanding motivated me to stay outside of the box.

Just when I was getting ready to start watching the last session, I felt
a little hand tapping my shoulder. We hugged, and cried as I
facilitated and witnessed this child of God overcoming doubts and
confusions by diligently seeking answers and exercising agency. It
was miraculous and I once again appreciated Heavenly Father’s
humour for He kept putting people on my path to help eventually
leading to a way of rescuing my struggling self. 

I sat down and rejoined the conference.
As women, young, and elderly across the world singing
“I am a child of God; and He has sent me here”,

I knew,
there was room enough for me.

K.D.

Will Ye Also Go Away?

We read in John 6:66-71 where the disciples “went back and
walked no more with him.” The Savior turned around and asked
the twelve, “Will ye also go away?” It is clear that the Savior has
already known the answer but He extended the chance of
reflection (verse 67).

The past weekend was one of the hardest times when my
testimony was challenged. For me, an individual who loves
learning and am super passionate about equality and justice, my
experience shattered my confidence and questioned the very
essence of my conviction of the gospel.

I pulled myself together and was very diplomatic about it knowing
my action would be a reflection of what I believed in. It took all
my strength to restrain myself from doing anything stupid
because of my anger and frustration. Notwithstanding my
calmness, I fought for my dignity and refused to be manipulated
even when my personality, reputation were at stake.

When the shell shock passed, my feelings surfaced. To be
utterly honest with you, I was crushed. The feeling of being
insulted, humiliated, and torn apart by a priesthood leader was
brutal. The anguish was so tremendous that I wanted to cry
every awaking moment. My energy was drained, and I kept
having flash backs of the interview.

I stand with Peter, who responded, “Lord, to whom shall we go?
Thou hast the words of eternal life.”


In an earthly justice sense, I want to clear my name and I want
him to be responsible for all the awful accusations
(without grounds) pounced against me.

But that’s not the way leading to true healing. As much as I want
justice, I have to rely on the atonement to heal the consequence
of other’s misuse of agency. Once again I have chosen to stay in
the Church, not because the condemnations are right or I
support the actions affected me. I stay because I know this is the
restored Church of Jesus Christ. If I hold on, heal, and learn from
this experience, it will be beneficial for my spirituality in a way I
could have never imagined.

“Indeed, you can have sacred, revelatory, profoundly instructive
experiences with the Lord in the most miserable experiences of
your life—in the worst settings, while enduring the most painful
injustices, when facing the most insurmountable odds and
opposition you have ever faced.”
– Elder Jeffrey R. Holland,  “Lessons from Liberty Jail”

https://www.lds.org/ensign/2009/09/lessons-from-liberty-jail?lang=eng

K.D.

Ordinary Courage

Our lives are shaped by these moments of truth. Whether is
the chance of loving the right person at the right time, reveal a
piece of truth that will turn the table, or even following the
prompting of the spirit, these events alter the course our destiny
and unleash all sorts of emotions such as joy, regrets, shame,
authenticity, freedom, etc…

My defining moment was a difficult lesson.

Because of my athletic, nerdy, and geeky lifestyle, I was a
Tomboy looking girl with a terrible sense of insecurity in collage.
I had a close group of friends but I longed to fit in. One day, my
cell phone rang. To my surprised, the call was from a classmate
who was also from Hong Kong, a talented student, and a
dashing star on campus. I was so flattered that she would even
know my existence let alone calling me.

Soon her intension was revealed. She would be leaving on a
trip and wanted me to check her presence on the attendance
list. She gave a few pretty good justifications and quickly hung
up. I couldn’t refuse her request becauseI thought I was helping
a friend. I clearly knew it was wrong but instead I traded my
integrity with the chance of being accepted. 

How did it end?
She came back from the trip and of course never spoke a word
to me. 

I felt used. I felt stupid. I felt unoriginal because deep down I
was not comfortable in my own skin. It was very shameful to
even think back how insecure, not confident, and shy I was. But
I’ve learned and grown from it. I’ve vowed to follow my gut and
do the right thing.

In her moral development model, Psychologist/feminist Carol
Gillian proposed 3 stages of female’s moral development.

Stage 1: Pre-conventional: Focus on self-survival 

We tend to focus on individual survival criteria like living condition.

Stage 2: Conventional: responsibility to others, the nurturer role

Stage 3: Post-conventional: decision reflecting the balance of
caring for self and others.

Gillian elaborated that  when teenage girls transition from stage 1 

to stage 2, they struggled to maintain their ordinary courage and
muffled their voices as they were expected to choose
relationship over justice fulfilling the nurturer role.
They likewise experienced tension balancing self and relational 

obligation. Sadly, some people would be stuck in the process 

and the perspective rooted deeply influencing daily decisions.

Another learning opportunity surfaced again this week as I was
asked to do something unethical. To be very honest, I had no
problem dodging the task but the thought of remaining in
silence troubled me. Knowing my action to seek help and stop it
would cause not only disagreement but contention, I acted
upon my moral judgement. 

It has not been easy and I am well aware of the consequence.
The nerd in me keep counting all the possible retaliation and
the Mulan in me wanting to fight injustice and protect the
innocent. 

Tonight when I go to bed, I know I’ll have a clear conscience
knowing I have found my ordinary courage. 

Come what may, and love it!

K.D.

The Get-Over-It Attitude

Last weekend I had this opportunity to attend conference at Berkeley, California. The conference is focused on sharing research on Mormonism in Asia. Honestly I had a great time there. I got the chance to meet with many great people and scholars. It was a great event for ideas exchange. All researches and papers were great and can't list them all here. However there's a little incident happened that I really wanted to share my thoughts on that.

During the Q&A session of the panel that I was in, a lady raised her hand, stood up and shared her comments right after and other lady in the crowd asked her question. I can't record the exact wordings of what she had said, but simply what she was trying to say was something like these, "we know all the answers to the issues and questions you all mentioned in your research. I am grateful that I know there are answers to these questions." She then stood up and walked out the room. I hope I didn't get it wrong but to me, what she meant was "you all just need get over it, for whatever you guys are talking about. There're answers in the gospel!" I agree that there are answers in the gospel that can solve our problems, however I don't believe that we can just simply say "get over it" and let that be the solution to any questions.

On the same day my friend shared with me that she struggled a lot in her ward, simply because people are having this get-over-it attitude. She said one time the teacher taught about forgiveness and a sister shared her struggle and not able to forgive someone at this stage of her life. Another sister just spoke up and said" oh! Just get over it!" The sister was disappointed, not that she couldn't forgive that person, but it definitely takes time to be able to forgive someone. In that situation, she is being categorized as the stubborn-not-forgiving person.

It seems like among members we seek to be result-orientated. We rejoice in hearing others successful story on overcoming challenges and struggles in life rather than listening to how they walked through the painful path. When we share our experiences, we tend to skip describing the process but focus on glorifying the outcome and what a great person we have become. Needless to say how we look down and step our feet onto those who are struggling because we accuse them being stubborn and not having enough faith that all things will eventually work out.

No one on this earth have the ability to fully comprehend what other person are going through in their lives. Nor should we tempt to believe that we have this ability and go around to mock those who are struggling, belittling them as the little-faith. Even though we seem to know that we can find most of the answers in life in the gospel, but God wants us to experience, ask question and seek help. He doesn't want us to just know the answer and get over it. We are all different. We all have our own challenges and struggles in life. Be a good listener to those who suffer. Let him/her share what they have been going through. Most importantly, we need to get rid of the get-over-it attitude. Don't pretend to be the expert in dealing with struggles and challenges because only the Lord is able to guide us through.

G.K.

The Voices of Women

Pouting and exclaiming “It’s so unfair!” was my common gig 

complaining about unequal treatments between me and my brothers.
As a strong-willed little girl, I laid out my logical argument, letting my
tears streaming down my cheek freely and passionately negotiating
my demands. When my wish was granted, my mother recalled me
bouncing off with a big laugh and a slimy smile covered by a smear of
booger and tears. 

That was the beginning of my training in advocacy.

My voice was not necessary heard in all of the situations but I have
kept speaking (minus the slimy smile most of the time). That is my
right as a human being to express, to own my voice. In her book Lean In,
Sheryl Sandberg described an observation seeing women stepping
back and not sitting at the table along with their male colleagues. She
pointed out the core reasoning of this phenomenon was like the great
chicken-and-egg debate.

“Do we have gender inequality or under performing women women
first?”

Without being sucked into the debate, she offered a simple yet
powerful solution— LEAN IN. There goes with my answer of how to
get ourselves heard. When we speak up, not only we are empowering
ourselves but also buying that chance to be heard. 

Ever since I started this blog, I attracted quite a truckload of
overzealous comments on gender issues. It can get really frustrating
trying to get through some thick scalps but I truly enjoy the
opportunity to take a stand on gender equality in all honesty.

Here is a real life example:

A poor soul came to me at work the other day telling me that the
equal number of elders and sisters in the MTC was the result of
lowing sister’s age requirement for a full-time mission. Granted that
was legit justification, he elaborated on women could now choose a
mission then a marriage rather than a marriage over a mission. 

That statement alone was enough gasoline to set me on fire.. haha

1. As researches, we recognize the possibility of the existence of
latent variables while attending to lineally explain complex issues
(cause and effect). In this situations, there are many many
possible latent variables such as the delay of first marriage.
According to the U.S. Bureau of the Census, the median age of
first marriage in 1990 for women was 23.9. In 2010, however the
number grew to 26.1. From the delaying trend of data, it is to
believe that women generally get married in a later age for
whatever reasons. Will more sisters now choose to serve
missions only because of the availability of choice over marriage,
I don’t think so.

2. There are plenty of choices besides a mission or a marriage.
Limiting the options down to two occurs to be utterly disrespectful
and objectifying women. With more equal opportunities, women
today have the options to be professionals, receive higher
education, and participate in civil services. Unlike many other
options, the decision of servicing a full-time mission should be
made between God and the individuals. It’s certainly not
something that anyone should just lightly choose and act upon
without further spiritual confirmation.

3. Our dispositions matter. The statement coming from a male,
Caucasian person do appear to be quite condescending. It’s not
that he can’t talk about it but let’s  be more open to different
voices. I was in shock how my reasons were shut right back down
as a female returned missionary who once made that choice to
serve. Be kind, be open, and be prepared to gracefully discuss
issues in different perspectives. 

I love being a woman who speaks up. 

I enjoy helping other women finding their own voices.
My highest respect and salute to you, the many men I know, who
listen compassionately and civilly.

Now, go and speak up :)

K.D