Does he love your brain?

Several weeks ago, I attended a YSA career devotional and one of
the speakers, Staci, spoke greatly about fulfilling our potentials as
women. Since she was Grace’s thesis adviser, I stayed after
wanting to get to know her. Within the first minute of our
conversation, she asked a line of profound questions.

“Are you dating now? Does he love your brain?”
I smiled.

For weeks I have slept on those questions. Dating can be very
mundane like business arbitration. We talk/show who we are
and what we have and negotiate a possible future while
compromising something (personality traits/dreams/habits).
Perhaps that’s one of the reasons why the “get to know you”
stage of dating sometimes feels like a CIA interrogation to
me and hopefully minus the waterboarding.

I smiled because that is exactly the reason why I choose not to be
married at this point of my life. While a stable relationship can be
quite satisfactory, the absence of intellectual or heart-to-heart
connection is frankly terrifying. Nothing is more pathetic and
lonely than two people sharing cozy affections while their minds
are more foreign than strangers.

Although we have all receive pressure from these “stop being so
picky” or “give everyone a chance” messages, we have every right
and responsibility to determine and choose our eternal happiness.
Haters will always hate and there will always be people
speculating the reasons of your singledom. But we don’t have to
yield. I undoubtedly know that through time and experiences I
have come to know what kind of relationship or marriage I want.

One day when I realize and know with surety that I’ve found him,
I will look him in the eye and sweetly whisper,
“You are worth the wait.”

K.D.