Confession of a Rebel

I love my Chinese heritage and my experience living in Asia. When
I am asked of where I am from, normally puzzled faces will follow
because of in their eyes, I look or act nothing like a Chinese.
I am probably the craziest liberal, progressive, Chinese
Mormon girl they have ever met and trust me, we do exist.

As much as I love my identities including being a hard cord
introvert, there are times when I just have to get on my soapbox
and won’t yield. AGENCY means the whole world to me. It is the
fundamental difference between the Savior’s plan and Satan’s
plan. The more I study the gospel, the more I am willing to exercise
my agency by giving up cultural or gender norms that dictate my
thoughts and action (2 Nephi 2:27).

Here is what gets on my nerves. Agency does not merely mean
the ability to choose but acceptance or respect for others when
they choose differently. As we are led by commandments which
give us directions and instructions, ans surely God has also provided
us opportunities and room to progress to His standard. It is not
our place to judge and criticize each other’s pace let alone what
we choose. When I hear these judgmental comments in church, my
hand shoots straight up and I do my best to clear the air because
Sunday worship should be a place we learn doctrinal principles
instead of stoning each other.

Think of Peter, the apostle who was called on the spot by the Savior
for denying his association with the Son of Man. The Savior saw
Peter’s potential beyond his choices and Peter grew
tremendously from his experience. Vance Havner wrote, “It is
Peter, weeping bitterly, who returns to greater power than ever.”

In the presences of ridicule, disappointment, and disparagement,
I hold on to my faith and my love and association with those who
choose differently. If my understanding of agency makes me
unorthodox, not girly/demure enough, or rebellious, I take it as a
compliment by all means.

K.D.