Why a PhD?

Being a girl was simple as a kid.

I could play with legos, and own a pink Sailor Moon umbrella. 

I wanted to be a doctor, and fell in love with prince charming. 

With a head filled with curiosity and mischievousness,
the sky had no limits and being happy was not complicated.

But something changed.
Social sanction shaped me.

Conformity constrained me.

A part of me died every day when I chose not to be myself.

I lost my color, my sense of the world, and my identity.

No make up or fake smile could cover the emptiness,
dissatisfaction of soul.

What’s so funny was that I could have stayed as a victim of
many things for the rest of my life justifying why it has
gone so wrong.


But I did not.
I chose not to.
I knew the only way out was working even harder to
overcome them.

And so I did.

I follow my ambitions and dreams.
I keep getting back in the game until I can settle and love
someone wholeheartedly.
I am getting a PhD to help minorities to whom help isn’t
always available. 

To some it’s the kiss of death of my chance of
getting married.

To me it’s the liberation that frees me and draws
me even closer to God.

Only because a girl dreams to be a girl. 

K.D.