Why is a Beyond 5 concert more than 5 good looking guys with great voices?

Over the past few months, Beyond 5 has been the hot topic for the Church in Asia (especially in Hong Kong) and a heated debate on whether this type of event is suitable for the youths. Some of you have chosen to show your support in whatever ways to speak up and some of you have chosen my facebook as a battleground. If you are seeking for neutrality in my opinion, sorry I’ll be up front with you about me being totally biased and I am happy to tell you why.

“Wholesome recreation is part of our religion”

In his quote, President Ezra Talf Benson went on saying that a change of pace was necessary, and even its anticipation could lift the spirit. Attending a concert with uplifting music qualifies as a wholesome recreational activity and I am still amazed by the amount of excited, happy faces in Music Zone that day. Aside from heavily doctrinal based Sunday lessons, seminary, and programs (Personal Progress & Duty to God), the youths deserve to have a great time and just have fun. Their performance is certainly reenergizing and has offered a comfortable ground for the youths to share their faith with friends.

They are “daring greatly” pursuing their goals

Giving up what regular teenagers can enjoy and striving for a career requires so much courage and determination. I’m sure they’ve had people calling them out to be “realistic” or ridicule their choice of career.  This is the exact adventurous spirit we need to see in our youths as they are paving their future under extreme pressure. Many of us today are preferring job security and stability giving up what we are truly passionate to do. Daring greatly and having the guts to pursue a goal this big is admirable whether it be your dream or not.

They stand for what they believe in

Before singing the song “Serenade”, they shared their thoughts on respecting women and honoring influential women in their lives. It turns out their action speaks louder than words. From my short time interacting with them, they are the most respectful, hilarious, genuine, and humble young men I’ve ever met. They have always been courteous to their fans and warmly expressed appreciation for their support.  Don’t we all wish more brothers are like that in the Church?

It’s okay for the girls to like boys.

The ability to identify good qualities and traits takes practice just like any other skills and it’s perfectly healthy for girls to like boys. I am so thrilled to know that young women consider Beyond 5 attractive seeing all the awesome qualities they possess. More importantly, I wish the girls will always remember how great it feels to be special and treated with respect. Three of my young women were invited on stage to be serenaded and they are still all giggly and smiley about it. What a powerful example for young men on how to treat a girl right!!       

I can’t say enough great things about the band and that is why I have been completely on board the second I was invited to help out with the Hong Kong portion of the tour.  Before you go all adamant or ballistic about why the Church would co-host this type of event, look at all their positive influence and impact they have already made. If you really like them, make sure your voices are heard because maybe we can invite them back again :)

K.D.

Hey, did you meet ‘someone’ during your trip?

Whenever I share with people what I am going to share with you, I am surprised with this same response "Ya, people said the same thing to me too!"

I travel every year in order to get my life refresh, either long trip or short trip, to the US or to mainland China. It actually doesn't matter where I go / whom I go with/ when I go. "Coincidentally" people usually come to me and say something like this, "...there must be a reason for you to go to that place during that particular time, maybe you will meet 'someone' while you are there..." After I return, people usually say or ask, "did you meet 'someone' during your trip?", "oh, you didn't (with a pity face), that's okay, maybe next trip".

I can't tell if they were serious when they asked these questions, but it bugs me because I think these people must have been watching too much TV drama and movies, expecting that I would fall in love with a stranger, just like how Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks in Sleepless in Seattle. The last scene is very disturbing to me. After several fragmental encounters these two adults finally met each other and within a second they were holding hands and falling in love. I remember watching the ending with a doubtful face and yelled "really!?!?" 

I guess for people asking me these questions see that going on a trip is an opportunity for a LDS woman like me, who is in her late twenties, still single, to find hope for life, to find hope for an eternal companion. (Ha..Ha..). They probably think that if I couldn't find one in Hong Kong, maybe I could find one elsewhere. As many of them said that the "market" in Hong Kong is so small and barren, there are probably more men out there (the demand and supply issue). I even heard from people sharing those urban myths. So-and-so went to that place. He/she is now so madly in love and is going to get married. So-and-so felt prompted to go to that place and he/she met his/her husband there. I also heard this "you went to BYU-Hawaii and you are not married when you returned? What a pity that you couldn't find 'the one' because everyone goes there with a purpose, to find his/her husband/wife".

It does not only happen within Mormon community, probably it is universal. I am not denying the possibilities of this kind of long-distance romance; however, I don’t see the necessity of asking these types of questions and showing these kinds of concerns to others. I would appreciate more if people ask me “so, how’s your trip? How did you feel? Did you eat any good and yummy food?” rather than asking me “hey, did you meet someone?” on my next trip.

G.K.

Matchmaking V.S agency in dating

            After completing the Hong Kong YSA survey last week, some of the additional comments caught my eye. Here is English translation for this session and 3 answers circled in red.

Q11. Please share some of the creative and interesting activities that you would like to join.

1.    Why don’t we help the brothers or sisters getting to know whoever they have a crush on but not familiar with (from other wards or never attended YSA activities) and offer them opportunities to get to know each other or even arranging dates…..

2.    Matching (matchmaking)

3.    Blind date

C’mon! It’s true that dating here in Hong Kong sucks for whatever reasons and we often have a jaded look on our faces like walking into a multi-million scam as we participate in YSA activities. But giving up on our agency?

President Packer has once stated, “While I am sure some young couples have some special guidance in getting together, I do not believe in predestined love. If you desire the inspiration of the Lord in this crucial decision, you must live the standards of the Church, and you must pray constantly for the wisdom to recognize those qualities upon which a successful union may be based.  You must do the choosing, rather than seek for some one-and-only so-called soul mate, chosen for you by someone else and waiting for you.”

How can we keep choosing in such a perplexing and frustrating situation? Honestly, I asked myself the same question when I was in the speed dating session of the YSA conference. Trying to squeeze a smile and answering some questions off from a check list in tiny room packed with 100+ YSA, I couldn’t help but wonder what’s the point?

My wise mission president has once taught me that any desirable skills, dreams, goals, and plans are based on two words, consistence and persistence. Developing good habits consistently and persist even when life gets hard. The same principle is applicable to social life as well. Perhaps God is teaching us other valuable lessons in trying times and it’s up to us if we decide to throw in the towel.

“[Avoid] the habit of feeling sorry for yourself, and don’t worry excessively about those times when you feel socially unsuccessful. Everybody in the world doesn’t have to fall in love with you and marry you--it only takes one.” --Elder Bruce C. Hafen

K.D.

Dress and Grooming Standard – Being Inclusive and Exclusive

The LDS Church has its own standard of dress and grooming guidelines. In general, both men and women are counseled to dress modestly in order to respect the identity of being sons and daughters of God. Clothing that are too tight, too revealing, too short..etc are not encouraged. Mostly members refer to the standard from the handbook “For the Strength of Youth”. Several passages in the handbook connect our body’s sacredness to the way we dress. The often-use scripture “Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?... The temple of God is holy, which temple ye are.” (1 Cor 3:16-17) is a blow and shout to all members of the Church when encountering dress and grooming issues. 

No, I am not going to talk about what should be wearing and what should not be wearing in this article. I innocently believe that people know the appropriate clothing to wear to represent themselves, or represent themselves as members of the Church. I innocently believe that people are mature enough to know the commitment that they have made to be a witness of Christ at all times and in all things, and in all places. (Mosiah 18:9) 

      My purpose of writing this article is to ask all of you to think of experiences you have had in dealing with dress and grooming issues in the Church and how you deal with it. From my observation, members of the Church are both inclusive and exclusive in dealing with dress and grooming issues. I would like to use some examples/scenarios to illustrate to what extent members are inclusive and exclusive.

1.       An investigator dresses in revealing clothing, nonetheless, as members we should not discriminate him/her. We should make him/her feel welcome. However, (here comes the exclusive part) we should teach him/her to dress modestly when he/she comes to Church next time.

2.       It is always nice to see members dress nicely and modestly on Sunday. It is easy to recognize them as faithful and committed to the Gospel by the way they dress. However, (here comes the exclusive part again), some brothers/sisters are not well-dressed. He always wears this blue color shirt and she always wears this skirt that are a few centimeter above her knees. Are they worthy members?

      Some members tend to be a stickler for the dress and grooming issues, even 0.5cm matters to them. Some members tend to not deal with this issue, because it is very sensitive.  Throughout the years I had the opportunities to handle issues in dress and grooming. From a stickler (enforcing Honor Code at BYU-Hawaii) to a believer (being a Youth Leader), my own experiences tell me that I should trust people I encounter with are doing their best in the way they dress, instead of being judgmental. Trust is the key. Sometimes I thought to myself, “Does that (how they dress) really matter??”

G.K.